I am a heavy set kinda guy, not small, about five ft 10, green/blue eyes, red, purple, blue or black hair, depending on the mood I am in, really, clothes wise, the past few months has seen a change in how I am comfortable. It used to be baggy jeans, now its combats, dark colors, black green, blue, thick grungy jumpers and cardigans (my favorite is a black chunky nit cardy with a hood and I love it to bits) I wear black skate trainers, sometimes I wear a blue blazer, or a blue long length denim over my hoody. I quite like the gothic look, and even though I like that type music (Bauhaus, etc) and relate to the attitude somewhat, I wouldn’t feel comfortable dressed that way. I don’t feel a need to truly stand out visually, I want to do that by my actions, and my mind, sort of. But I like and admire it. I have no piercing or tattoos, though that’s only a matter of time. I want tribal/Celtic tats on my arms, back, legs, maybe my neck. Whenever I see pics of these types of tat, I feel drawn and pulled by them, they really mean something to me,

kind of a journey, trying to discover myself. Strange, but true. Its Celtic heritage type stuff, I guess. I always felt I liked the Celts better than my own Brethren, which is odd, I know. I suffered for many year with  Clinical Depression, paranoia, anxiety,and I had a clinical diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder which has now been removed, and i am discharged from all mental health services. I wrote "littleboylost" in an effort to put these demons to rest, permanently, and it has now been published along with its sister volume over at lulu.com.  I really like my music, and films, because they express other peoples visions, ideals, desires, and I feel like they are speaking to me, revealing something about their spirits, and I learn more about the world and myself, through those medias. I read some philosophy, because I want to know how others think, am very interested in the concepts of morality and ethics. What is moral? What’s ethical?

I think it’s different for everyone, and it all depends on your cultural context. I prefer eastern stuff, to western philosophy, I feel I relate more to an eastern mindset some how. I also love to write, as it lets me express myself, in the way those others do via film and music. I write a lot right now, firstly more about me, Semi-autobiographical, but now more fictional, about people making big decisions, in a wired, surreal kind of way. I enjoy that a lot. I also write poetry, its not great stuff, but it does give me expression, release, so that I can go my way, get on with my life. It’s a kind of safety valve. I also like to draw, I used to draw still life, then peoples faces, then simplified cartoon versions of real people, now I am moving into anime, which is great, but challenging. Learning to draw with in another cultural context, is difficult, I am also trying to learn to draw in the marvel, DC, mold – super-hero’s, villains etc.I used to be really into computer hardware years ago, and tech generally, and I am beginning to get an interest again, so we will have to see how that develops in the next year or so. I used to bungee jump, I did four very close together, joined a bungee club, never did it again, and I would like to take it up again, reawaken that devil-may-care approach again.

 My Favourite Bands/ Solo Artists includeThe cure, Echo and the bunnymen, the smiths, Lou Gramm, Roger Daltry, Tim Cappello, blink 182, the coral, the police, Frankie goes to Hollywood, the streets, Franz Ferdinand, haircut 100, spiritualized, the shaman, linkin park, motley crue, the offspring, pantara, soulfly, miles Davis, bob Marley and the wailers, boomtown rats( introduced to sir bob, by a friend, whom I have lost contact with unfortunately), green day, public enemy, turbonegro, skindred, Korn, Bach, Beethoven, enya, clannad, the fugees, NIN, Marylyn Manson, the Farm, the pixies, Nirvana, weezer, fear factory, plus -44, velvet revolver, Eddie and the tide, Goldfrappe (listened to a mates stuff, really liked it, thought I would hate it, but its cool.)

 Bauhaus, sioxie and the banshees, joy division, new order, Deacon blue, Bill withers, pet shop boys, go west, scarlet division (sad but true! – sundial is ace!) Static X, Goldie lookin chain, Ah-ha, nick cave (and his various bands), Black flag/ Henry Rollins (I love liar.), bad religion, smashing pumpkins, at the drive in, KYUSS, Red hot chilli peppers (obviously, what’s not to like?), mettalicca, System of a down, black Sabbath, madness, velvet underground (some of their stuff, haven’t heard a lot of it, I admit) INXS, mummy calls, Thomas Newman, Gerard McMann, murder dolls, Amen, stone sour. Level 42 (I am getting into dodgy territory here, I know), beastie boys, Disturbed, Gary Newman, Leftfield, QOTSA, foo fighters. And many others – I have an eclectic taste in music, to say the very least!

I read at least a book a week, trying to keep my mind active when i am not studying. I am not yet working, so I read. My favourite Autors include: Arthur C Clarke, Phillip K dick, The Dalai Llama, Diane Weekes, Ray Bradbury, William Gibson, Douglas Adams, Eric LustBader, David zindell, J.R.R Tolkien, Jack London, Mark Twain, George Orwell, Roald Dhael, Philip Jose Farmer, William Burroughs, Thich Nhat Hanh, (very cool author of Buddhist principles), Wayland Drew, Cooper, William Goldman, John VornHolt, Neal Gaiman, Kafka (I am a recent convert to both of these – I spend a lot of my spare time in the library right now) Douglas Hill (wrote some excellent teen-fiction, which is now out of print, mostly), Ursula Le Guin, J.K.Rowling (sad I know, but I admire her ability to write on different levels.. that’s my story and I am sticking to it!), Michael Moore, Frank Herbert, L. Ron Hubbard, Franklin W. Dixon, and far too many others to document here! (what can I say, I am a bookworm.)now, since books and music are bothwindows into the mind of the creator, it seemed only sensible to list another form of media here, film. so, let me share a few of my absolute Favorite films

Bowling for columbine, ( for the obvious reasons),Equilibrium (Very 1984/ Fahrenheit 451 like, but with emotions controlled, not knowledge, or behavior so much, though that’s obviously part of it), Gangs of new York (I learnt a lot about History here, the Irish immigrants, the trouble they faced, the riots, the violence – very illuminating), Priscilla, Queen of the desert (Dragqueens, crossing a dessert, being proud, with dignity, whilst battling bigoted rednecks, what’s not to like?), K-Pax (A film focusing on catatonia, (the problem, not the band! Chuckle) and more general Mental Health issues such as Loss of reality, dissociation, paired with a sci-fi plot, and aliens from an other dimensions who exist in energy forms – very thought provoking), the crow, the crow2, Labyrinth, Drop dead Fred, beelejuice (all three of these really effected me growing up, it made me feel wonder, let me let my mind slip free, dream, imagine – they saved me pretty much. Kept me sane.), big Trouble in little china (this was the first ever martial Arts film I ever saw, and it blew me away, made me want to watch  more, which eventually led to me taking martial arts lessons as a teenager). More recently, Revolver,(Guy Ritchie is a dude of a man)

Band of Brothers, Knight Watch, A history of violence (David Cronenberg coming back to full strength!) All made me feel, which is unusual for me, these days – to be moved by a movie. Which is the mark of a good film to me. I actually was moved by the plots of these. God, I love the Cinema! Oh, and being the Sci-fi fan I am, I loved Serenity (the big screen spin off from firefly) even though I never watched more than a few episodes of firefly. funnily enugh, it was film and television that intrduced me to some of the most influnetial figures during my chidhood, heroes, people i wanted to identify with. i guess you could say they were, and still are, the People I most Admire. and it is very true that I admire true individuals who don’t try and appear different, they don’t go out of their way to show how different they are, because it’s obvious. Its part of them. They think differently. It shows by their actions, not words. They aren’t Clones of everybody else, they aren’t sheep, but they don’t feel a need to go out and prove it to all and sundry, either. People like:

Stephen Fry, Robert Smith, (both struggled with depression, suicidal tendencies, both have brilliant minds, distinct personalities, quiet dignity, and pride, as well as great wit, intelligence, And courage, and both have made a huge impact on Certain groups in society) Billy Connolly, Dylan Moran (for being so funny, and spot on when it comes to society – I agree with them, wholeheartedly, both the irrelevant bits, and the darker world view) Sir Steven Redgrave (for overcoming so many health difficulties to achieve all he did – so many gold medals – and he is still making a living, with dignity. The strength of his character is unbelievable). Stephen Hawkins (such a mind, brilliant, brave, courageous, living in a crippled mind, but still bright, unique, special.) They are all role models for me, and I try to remember them, when times get tough. I want to be different, yes, unique, but above all I want to be me, myself, and behave with  dignity, respect, I want to be courageous, and possess quiet pride.

Want to know about my sexuality, and my thoughts on that subject? Click here

there is not much else i can say here, if you want to see some of my other writings such as my blog, or my writing pages, just click on the relevent link on the left, and we will have you there in a jiffy. well, thanks for being interested in me.